College Appetite

by Ernest Slyman


While Elwood feels inadequate

around young women

in the college cafeteria,

he flirts with his chicken salad.

Sometimes Elwood nibbles

the edge of the crust.

Before he knows it

the lettuce asks him for a kiss.


Charles wants to study

for a Political Science exam.

He seeks out the solace of a friend —

a warm slice of apple pie waits

for him. It whispers

its succulent expectations —

the fork breaks its silence,

accusing the lemon meringue pie

of cold blooded murder.

Justice is served when the peach cobbler

testifies on behalf of the defendant.


Mildred admired the fruit salad.

They smiled like they knew each other.

The meatloaf had bedroom eyes

for the mashed potatoes and gravy.


Angela was delighted to hear

the chicken cutlet

sing an Elvis Presley song.


Delilah couldn’t care less

if the peas and carrots

lived or died.

They were through.


The baked apple crumb-cake

couldn’t stop bragging

about himself.

The most popular guy

in the sophomore class.

Ernest Slyman lives in New York City. He is a playwright, poet, fiction writer and humorist. He was born in Appalachia - Elizabethton, Tennessee. His work has appeared in Meniscus, The Laurel Review, The Lyric, Light: A Quarterly of Light Verse (Chicago), The NY Times, Reader's Digest and The Bedford Introduction to Literature, St Martins Press, edited by Michael Meyer, and Poetry: An Introduction, St Martins Press, edited by Michael Meyer. Domain:


June 2018

© 2020 by The Esthetic Apostle